Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

Amazing, Rockstar, Superwoman - All things I have been called in the past few months. While it's truly warmed my heart to hear those things, here's the truth... I'm flying by the seat of my pants! Some days I feel like I can legit take on the whole world and other days I don't know how I'm going to make it to lunch time.

But through it all, I have a partner. I'm not doing all of this alone. Yes, I recently built and launched my website and new brand. I've started doing these live interviews every night and I've found time to wrap up a few projects all while keeping 4 little kids alive and thriving. I'd love to take credit for all of it and say I'm just "that good" but I'm really only making it work because I have help. I have a husband who supports me, my dreams, my business and truly loves being a Dad. At the risk of sounding extremely cheesy, I have to say that he is my best friend.

Could I do it alone? Probably. Do I want to? Never!

I've said it before and I'll say it again - Teamwork makes the Dream work!

Before we had the twins, I made it crystal clear to my husband that I had no intentions of putting my business on the backburner and therefore he would need to find more ways to support me in that. Not that he wasn’t doing that before, but it was just different. Having 2 kids is a lot easier to manage than having 4 kids, so there would need to be changes and that time, neither of us really knew what that would like yet.

For some context, you should know, I’ve had a habit of putting other people’s needs before my own. So often I would find myself giving up the things that I love, to support someone else, either my husband, our kids, a friend, other family… you get the idea. It’s not that I don’t still do that sometimes, but I’ve come to the realization that when I always put myself second, I feel shitty.

Now, I don’t blame anyone for that. I take full responsibility. I made the choices that have led me to where I am today. I chose to put other people’s needs before my own. But those choices, didn’t always leave me feeling my best. So, it’s also up to me to make different choices and express my needs. At first, it felt a little selfish, but I’m starting to learn that it isn’t. I don’t need to feel bad or guilty for choosing myself sometimes. I deserve it. In fact, I need to do it. I need to do things that bring me joy and give me a sliver of sanity in the midst of the wild ride that is motherhood. Besides wine nights with my gal pals, a soak in the tub and a stroll through Winners I needed something else separate from my regular family life routine that set my soul on fire. As I’m sure you could guess, that is my business. So there was no way that I was about to give it all up just because my life was about to get a whole lot busier. But I knew the only way I was going to be able to manage both things, was for me to vocalize what my needs are and be clear on my expectations.

And I did!

I was honestly a bit nervous to have that conversation with my husband. Mostly because I didn’t want him to feel like, I wasn’t appreciative of all the things he was already doing. But at the same time, I needed him to know that things were changing and what I was going to need from him.

His response to all of that: “We’ll make it happen”

This is what I love about him. He doesn’t waiver on his love. He recognizes what I need and supports me to the best of his ability.

So what does that look like?

It looks like him coming home early if I have to run out to a meeting. It looks like him holding, changing, feeding and calming down the babies all night while the older two are in bed so I can focus on my work. It looks like him, taking the kids out of the house on the weekends for a few hours so I can have some quiet time to do my own thing. It looks like him, loving me and doing his part to keep our family running while I work my ass off to make my business a success. It’s him cleaning the kitchen because I’ve already done it 20 times during the day. Or him making supper because I don’t have the energy. It’s him recognizing what I’ve done and saying Thank You.

Are things perfect? Nope.

Do we get in disagreements about things? Yup.

It’s not like we have this whole thing figured out. We are still learning, and we tick each other off and we have misunderstandings, but guess what? That’s called marriage. It’s hard and it’s messy, but for us - it’s worth fighting for. We get into arguments, we don’t always see eye to eye. We have different priorities at different times but through it all we are learning new things about each other. We are discovering new ways that keep us on the same page and moving forward. As our family grows, we grow. We are evolving and when you take a moment to step back and look at the growth we’ve made it’s truly a beautiful thing.

Now if you’re reading this and thinking “Wow, you’re so lucky to have a such an amazing and supportive husband.” You’d be right. My husband is amazing and he is supportive. And to some degree of course I am lucky, but on the other hand I don’t totally believe that it’s luck. Perhaps us meeting and getting together was by chance, or maybe it was all part of a bigger plan that is out of our control. That’s not for me to know. But it’s not by luck that we are still together. It’s hard work. It’s dedication and mutual respect. It’s putting aside our pride and doing what’s best for our family, which isn’t always easy and doesn’t always happen. But we try and we communicate and we laugh and we fail sometimes but we always get back up and try again.

So no, I wouldn’t use the word “lucky” to describe what I have with my husband. I think a better word is grateful. I’m grateful that I have a partner who works his butt off every day. Puts in countless hours of work at the office and at home. To say he is dedicated to his job would be an understatement. He has a work ethic unlike most people I know and there is a reason he is where he is today in his career. I am the first to admit that I don’t fully have a grasp on the things he deals with on the daily. I honestly don’t even know how he has the energy or will power to deal with the circus that is our lives when he comes home. But he does. He leaves his stress and work at the door before he comes in and without missing a beat steps into the role of Dad. He’s always done this. He loves to do it. Even when he is so tired, he steps up and is the best father to our children.

I’m grateful that we are a team. I appreciate him and the work he does for us and the feeling is mutual. He is grateful for me. He appreciates all the work that I do for our family. We sometimes need a reminder to show our gratitude, but who doesn’t. The point is, we are a team and I wouldn’t want it any other way!